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Throw the cauliflower florets into your food processor, and pulse until the consistency of rice. Set aside.
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Throw the tortilla chips into the food processor, and pulse until roughly chopped.
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Grind the sage, rosemary, thyme, and marjoram in a spice grinder or coffee grinder, and steep in the vegetable broth.
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In a large saucepan over medium-high heat, sauté the olive oil, onions, and garlic with 1/4 teaspoon of the salt for about 5 minutes until soft and translucent. Add in the celery and carrots, and sauté for 5 minutes until softening.
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Stir in the cauliflower, corn chips, vegetable broth/herb mixture, 2 teaspoons of salt, and the 1/2 teaspoon of pepper, increase the heat to high, and bring the mixture to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium, and simmer, stirring periodically for about 30 minutes until the liquid has reduced and the mixture has the consistency of cooked oatmeal.
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Remove from the heat, and stir in the maple syrup, apple cider vinegar, almonds, parsley, and remaining 3/4 teaspoon of the salt until well combined.
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Season with salt and pepper to taste, and serve family style.